Too cheery? Ehh… well, yeah… but we are at the end of the year and I HAD to go through the SET YOUR 2015 GOALS with Therapy Man today so…. TOO FREAKIN’ BAD!
The actual point is to all of this… and for all OF US… is… we lived! Fuck yeah we did. I mean, we are here, right? We didn’t necessarily do it in quite the fashion that One Republic may have. But, shit… we lived. And, if you did it like I did – it probably HURT LIKE HELL sometimes. Ok, most of the time. Uh, yeah. MOST OF THE TIME.
But, shit, when hasn’t it hurt? Therapy Man asked me today if I planned on being miserable the rest of my life? Hmmmm… no, really, I said “Hmmmm” back to him. After 48 years of being miserable all of the time it’s more of a lifestyle than a decision, I think. Then he quoted something spectacular from “The Happiness Trap“. (no, really… it was spectacular I just forget what it was)
So, the song says….
I owned every second
That this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived
I wonder, did I own every second of my life this year? Kidding… I know the answer to that question. It’s a resounding NO FUCKING WAY! And so, maybe that’s my goal? I don’t need to worry about running around seeing everything. Shit, just opening my eyes to what is within me would be a great start. BUT!!! Wait for it…. What would be HUGE for me would be to actually start owning my life. And, not just the healthy parts either… all of it. It’s all me. To suggest that I’m not in control of my sick part??? Ehhhh… The jury will forever be out on that one. Regardless, I am me – healthy decision or not. I figure if I am healthy enough to come here and “talk” about it. I can certainly take ownership of it. And, I should.
Ok… That’s all I got. Fucking Goals Day with the Therapist. Never a happy experience.