I suppose it’ll happen now and then….

Every now and then I like to spread a little Black Eyed Peas your way… No, really… I woke up and the anxiety beast was stirrin’. Not really any reason for it. LIKE THERE IS EVER A REASON FOR IT! Shit… really.

So I think to myself… not what a wonderful world, that’s for damn sure. Sorry Louis (Armstrong)! Since there isn’t anything bothering me and all the shit that could be bothering me is OLD SHIT. What should I do???? I don’t wanna sit around with it. I’m grateful as crap for what I have. I’m thankful. I’ve done what I can… I baked another pie for God’s sake! I’ve played with the dog. I’ve worked out.

Work it… work it… where’s my book? Walk away, Jami. Walk away from it! The anxiety will always be there, Girl. The battlefield is always there and so is your life! Fight? Or live it? Fuck, seriously? Take some xanax and tie up the anxiety Orcs in the bag and throw ’em to the side. They can wobble around like weebles all they want, but they can’t hurt you if you don’t play with them. Live your life!

Which brings me to a whole different topic… the whole living life issue. I’m not sure I have one because I’ve never really thought about it much. I’ve been so busy fighting Orcs. But, I’ll go there some other time. That could potentially be a HUGE entry… and also a very anxiety provoking entry… since I’m here trying to rid myself of the bitch… I think I’ll avoid it Thank You Very Much!!!!

I’m off. Thanks for listening… if you are!

Moving on… Me and my dog!!! … and no anxiety beast!

13 thoughts on “I suppose it’ll happen now and then….

  1. disconcerted72

    Jami, here is me sending good positive vibes your way!
    I don’t know about you, but lately I have been getting lost in music and it seems to relax me with some songs, for the most part. I’m facing some things right now that are making me feel bouts of anxiety coming on, but I am forcing myself into a winning situation. I’m accepting the anxiety is going to be there, but I’m trying to keep the goal in the fore-front of my mind. Sometimes it’s successful and sometimes it is not, but I do know I’m tired of beating myself up over it. You deserve to not beat yourself up, as well. If your dog makes you happy and the BlackEyedPeas make you happy, then I say bundle up to be warm, throw some headphones on, grab a leash and head out for a walk.

    I hope your day goes better, my friend!

    1. Thank you sooo much! Absolutely right! I think I have the accepting thing going for me… that’s where the next part is going to be rough. I have been living in the past all… I mean ALL of my life and I have no idea what my actual life looks like. So with all if that “accepted” for what it is. Speed bumps included of course… I’m staring at a blank screen. I got nothin. Lmao… seriously. Lots of things out there, just no clue where any of it goes… how it fits together… whether I even want it to fit together…

      Oh shit. I think I just wrote another entry… sorry πŸ™‚ hugs friend!!!!!

      1. disconcerted72

        Do any of us REALLY know how it all fits together? I posted an entry today, discussing my own issues trying to make sense of my reality. On some level, I think it is important to ignore the “why” of something and simply live the life you have by “being” who you are.
        I have faith in you, I believe you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
        Be at peace, my friend! πŸ™‚

      2. Um… all crazy, mental health issues aside, you are talking to a math teacher. I have nothing, nothing if I don’t have a “why”. πŸ™‚

        But seriously you are so right. It has be so awful being me… at least I thought it was. Somehow i woke up out of that realization though. Thank God for that. Thank you for the faith! I have that same faith in you, my friend! πŸ™‚ thank you for supporting me!!!!

      3. disconcerted72

        Geometery too, right? Yeah, there is a definite need to know the why, huh? Well, as an engineer (chemistry and mathematics are intimate to me), I also have a need to understand the inner workings of everything, but although science and math seek a greater understanding, even Einstein failed to solve his Theory of Everything πŸ˜‰

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