I just want to be able to trust someone. That’s it. But the window is shrinking… and it’s not just guys. I never really trusted women much (at all really) and I just scratched one of them off the board. No, seriously, fuck that. It’s like I’m looking through some sort of camera lens and its collapsing in on me slowly. Done. And. Done. With this shit!
I suck at it anyway. I trust the wrong ones. Then I end up trusting the “right” ones at the wrong time and …
BASICALLY, I didn’t get a fucking Life Manual at birth! God forgot to program me with that shit. Instead, he made me the “Borderline Personality” model which came not only WITHOUT the damn manual, but with all the wires fucked up. I was a TEST MODEL! Only no one told my parents… Or, they were test models too…. wait, we were a TEST FAMILY!!!
Fuck my life! I think I just figured it out. This a test and we all failed.
Yeah, FML for sure… Seriously though… aren’t we all sort of test models? That’s why my BP II meds don’t work the same for you… or you… or you! Am I right? God bless it, this is so hard! Certainly is job sercurity for Therapy Man.
All of this because I don’t feel like I can’t trust anyone. Only because… I can’t! Fuckers! As I was saying… because this started off very serious… (I’m serious about the test model thing, tho). This trust issue I’m dealing with… I used to think it was all about just me making poor decisions all of time. But other than the fact that I’m a sickly trusting person… people also just suck sometimes! I shouldn’t trust everyone. Or, maybe, just don’t set myself up believing the world is full of honest, perfect people. Eh… I’m not entirely happy with that statement, but it’s the best that I have at the moment. I know what I’m trying to say. That’s what matters.
Ok. I’m done. I’m done with this issue anyway.