This morning sucked and I almost didn’t make it.
I hate people who can get up and go and don’t feel like Gulliver with those little people strapping him down with those ropes and shit….
I hate the people that I sit with at lunch telling their stories about their kids and how much fun they have with their lives. Smiling for the hell of it. Being happy, just to be happy.
I was thinking about it last night – Over-thinking it, of course, because I’m cursed like that – and there is definitely something wrong with my brain because try as I do I just don’t do happy like people around me. It’s not my default.
I want it to be, but it’s not. God, how I want it to be.
My default is paranoia.
…. yeah, yeah, I don’t hate those people. Not at all. It’s just that my superhero power is JEALOUSY and I’m jealous of it! I’m jealous of their default.
I KNOW, I KNOW… it’s not all roses and sunshine for everyone but me. I get that. I’m sure it’s not. But, I know my brain doesn’t do what theirs does normally.
I’m sick of looking over my shoulder all of the time for NO reason. And, knowing that it’s for no reason. Why does my head do that? I’m tired of hearing the answer to that and not being able to change it.
Yeah…………. just a shitty day! And, it’s November so this weather thing is just startin’…….
Thank God for blogging! I can come here and vomit and move on!
So… How’s YOUR day? What’s YOUR Superhero Power?