Yeah, this is directed right at me. I have tried … ok, that’s bullshit. I haven’t tried at all. I have coasted in hopes that the Pain – Fairy would swoop down and take me away in all of her glitter glory. I envision lots of purples and pinks and periwinkle… all the while, I have been giving in, whenever I have wanted, to sending horrible angry rants to a sociopath, (no really, I’m not calling the kettle black here) who isn’t even listening to a single word I have to say.
So I really don’t know exactly what it’s going to take. I’m a grown ass woman acting like a 16 year old. Some say it’s my borderline coming through and my guess is that they are perfectly correct. That shit is tough as hell to fight. I’ll take bipolar symptoms all day hands down. Some are suggesting my PTSD. That makes me sad. I don’t want to think that I’m hurting others because I was hurt…. it’s not a merry-go-round for God’s sake. Or, maybe it is. The jury is still out on the God situation with me I am very sorry to say.
All I know is that I am on a merry-go-round for sure. Who is dumb enough to continue to bang their head against the wall looking for a different result!
Oh Snap!!! That’s right, the insane one does! And so… ladies and gents… maybe I am calling the kettle black … or, whatever. I’m not a sociopath for sure. I’m wayyyy too emotional for that one! Borderline, abolutely! According to Therapy Man, Borderlines and Socios do alot of hookin’ up. Again, nothing surprising about that!
Maybe I’ve been unfair to Danger Boy. Idk… ironically it was he who said to “Emotional-Millie” (that’s me) that it was time for him to grow up. He wanted to do right by his girl friend – the Police Chief. That lasted 19 days – he’s found a new one – all the while still playing hide the salami with his boss. So, show of hands, am I being too rough on poor ole Danger Boy? Ah, screw it. In a year from now will all of this matter? Idk, ask me in year… right now if I don’t find that fairy and get off of this merry-go-round I’m gonna have a breakdown… seems like a good time for some tunes….