Bring back the control!!! I am the Drama Queen!!!

So the fog clears and this is exactly how it happens…

it invades the peace… the thing YOU call peace.

wait.
no.
there is no peace.

that’s the problem.
I want peace.
I want to sit back and let it in and enjoy my life…

but i can’t because … well, because I can’t.

it takes over.
YOU take over.

So, you ask me if I want the drama?
Fuck yes I want the drama  – because I can’t handle the peace.

it swallows me whole and I can’t breath.
Worse than the drama!
Worse!

Ha, ha, ha… you thought I was out of control before.. out of my mind before!
Oh, Silly, silly, silly…

No.
No not at all.
I was in control.
I can control that shit!
It’s the peace I can’t control
The everyday that I can’t control.

I can control the drama. I can’t control the peace.

I am the Drama Queen!
I reign over that shit!
I gladly take that over what you call peace.

It’s beyond what you consider “uncomfortable”. It’s slimy and frigid and clenching.. yes, clenching… and piercing.

It’ll kill you!
No, yes!
Well, it will kill me for sure!

I’ve tried this thing you call peace. Oh, I’ve tried.

Fuck yes I want drama! I can breath through that shit!

So, call me a control freak, a drama Queen… a borderline mess… whatever makes you sleep at night because that would be the point! I’M NOT SLEEPING! Bring back the control… or the falseness of it. I don’t care. I can’t continue like this.

4 thoughts on “Bring back the control!!! I am the Drama Queen!!!

  1. I want peace as well but … then I wonder if I really do because like you said, I can’t take it. I don’t know what to do with it. I’m still working towards a more peaceful life though … guess I’m a glutton for punishment. or maybe I just like the awfulness of wanting what I don’t have. ~xoxo

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