I’m in a dangerous Non-Crisis! No joke!

brave princess

There was a Facebook quiz once, you know those quizzes and someone did one and somehow I ended up being the princess from Brave. I am FAR from a princess. And, I can count on my left hand how many Disney movies I’ve seen in my lifetime, but I have seen Brave and I must agree. If I were a princess, it would be this one. Little Princess What’s Her Name (I obviously watched it closely).

I loved the song before I even saw the movie. This morning I thought about posting the video because I was going to talk about being brave and so I watched it! HILARIOUS! You’ve GOT to see the dudes dancing! So, don’t skip the video… It will make your day! Or help it along at least.

I’m in the middle of a NON-crisis right now. 

Yep, non-crisis. In my world that is worse than a crisis. Bad things develop out of non-crisis situations in my life. So, I am back to reading The Happiness Trap. Currently I am reading through Chapter 25 – Values and Goals. I am working on taking 10 deep breaths – consecutively. And if any of you (ha – most of you) have had bad experiences with meditation or “quiet time” you know how fucking difficult 10 consecutive deep breaths can be. And, I’m trying to come up with 5 (different) things to be grateful for every day. Just the deep breaths alone can lead to crisis for me! Holy bejesus! On top of some trauma issues, I am hugely ADHD… non-medicated (hate the side-effects). Those deep breaths are a treat for me!!!

It was Tuesday that I was given these assignments and I have only thought about doing them. I actually read a few sentences out of the chapter. Technically I’m supposed to get to Chapter 26. Why do you think it’s so hard to do gratefulness lists? eh… I already I know the therapeutic answer to that. But seriously. Good shit happens to me all day. I know that. I can get 5 things out of it. I am a lucky son-of-a-bitch. I am around struggling teenagers in an inner-city school all day long…. ehhhhh. I can and am Brave on a daily basis! Not to toot my own horn…. but I am.

There isn’t much to this entry today. Truth is, I’m doing pretty good. I’m just stubborn. I’m a little on the freaked out side that there isn’t anything crisis-oriented going on in my life at the moment. Because the crazy in me will soon create it… unless I can hold onto this long enough to see that it’s not so bad. This less than exciting life.

My therapist said to me the other day that I just need to sit with whatever it is that I haven’t wanted to sit with for 48 years … [This is where Princess Buttercup – Brave Child needs to step in… ] honestly we looked at it and I have pretty much been living in crisis non-stop my whole life… I’m serious. No freakin joke. “You can stop running now, Jami“, he said. So, I’m coming out of the fog and waiting for “something” to hit me. What is it that I’ve been running from. Hmmmm… I’m not sure. It’s a little anxiety provoking, however… Calm before the storm… Hell, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe I’ve been running from nothing all of these years…

That would really suck, wouldn’t it?

Ok… So, I’m preparing for a battle that I’m trying to stay out of… Fuck! uhuhuhuhuhuhuh!!!!

Shit! Over and out for now!

3 thoughts on “I’m in a dangerous Non-Crisis! No joke!

  1. It’s the ‘ comfort zone’ being in constant crisis, I find, you get so used to fighting something, anything than when there’s a calm I’m just looking for shit to happen. Because the nothingness is so damn uncomfortable and unusual. So yes… breath, breath the shit out it until hopefully being in none crisis situations feels just as normal as wanting to punch little punks in the head for turning their papers in late lol. Take care 😉

  2. Yep, agree with Ophelia…calm is uncomfortable. Scary even. Little kids in an abuse situation will create a crisis..like make their dad hit them if he has not for a while just to get it over with…ie. learned behavior and to make the anxiety go away…NOT saying that is what the hell is wrong with you in anyway..just an example…which prob you knew anyway from your job.
    And girl…I had to laugh cuz we cannot take a deep breath to save our ass half the time. course that goes back to trauma issues, and CC is the worst one..but me, I gotta say I got issues too with that one. Quiet time is not really my thing either.
    HAHAHA..try yoga! LOL…but no seriously like a little DVD..it kinda helps if you are a follower thru unlike us..ohhh the ADHD..well..hey even once a week, it does somewhat help..cuz it is not just breathing.
    Mad strength…no clue on the princess chick…but cool vid -alex

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