I consider myself a word whore. I steal other peoples’ because unless I’m taking seriously good psych meds I’m generally not creative enough to come up with my own fancy quotes or poems… those sorts things.
But I’ve been very, very crunchy lately and nothing is working. My head is filling with cement slowly.. never a good sign. I’m sure it’s the new school year starting. I can stand back and see it all happening… well, for a second or two and then I get sucked in. Fucking whirlwind of psych-hell. Pisses me off so much.
I just reread that last paragrah and realized I said that nothing is working and now – as tired as I am and grumpy – I’m afraid I’m going to have to call buulshit on myself. Nothing is working because truly I’m not even trying the things that work. The things that work are so new to me. The things that don’t – they are second nature. They are easy. Yeah, yeah. We all know how that is.
I’ll admit. I got caught up in the buzz of what was last week. I let myself psych myself out because school was going to start. And, I … just let myself give in to chasing “him”. I abandoned everything that I know works.
Tomorrow is another day. Crunchy or not, I’ll get up. Go to work… attempt to shape the minds of our youth.
Another day – another try… this entry did not go as planned. Oh well.
Over and out!