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I love this poem. …. it allows me to be a complete piece of crap.  I live through other people’s words. Mostly because my head has been so full -all of my life – with mental illness.  I haven’t been able to sift through it to have an actual thought of my own about anything other than what I HAD to do at the very second that I was having the thought.  So… I borrowed others.  Or, I memorized a lot.  Lots of people asked why math? Because it always is… no reason thinking about it.  Its pretty much right or wrong and I could remember that for the most part.  Its not that I was very good at it, but I could count on it (no pun intended).

However, I have been doing my own thinking lately.  It’s not so bad. Except I am realizing that I am not entirely creative. .. and WOW!  what a piece of crap I have allowed myself to be….  My therapist doesnt want me to be too hard on myself. I get that.  I see the illness. I see what it does to others and to me.  But WOW… did I say that?

I am still a lyric and poem and quote junkie and probably always will be.  I just can’t live them I suppose… or, holy cow, I could get away with anything! I could just blame Pinterest!

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