at some point in time you have to say to yourself this is where I start. not start again. not start over. This is where I start. Today on!
This is my “Today on”. No bullshit. I live in my head so much. And. my head is in the past. If I stay there I can’t go on to tomorrow. I’ll never get past what has happened. What happened last week… what happened last year.. what happened ever.
My therapist has me reading/working out of a workbook (excuse me because I do not know how to properly cite things) called:
“Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your LIfe” by Steven C. Hayes, PH. D. It’s based on something called ACT therapy. Now, understand that I’ve worked with my therapist for many, many years and he knows that I don’t do workbooks, I don’t do DBT…. I don’t like to do therapy to be honest. I worked with him for 10 years in Chicago… moved 2 1/2 hours away and didn’t have therapy for 10 years and ended up back with him (yep, I drive 5 hours round trip once a week to see him) because I needed therapy so badly. This is working. I don’t know if it’s because I’m ready? If it’s because it’s the right method? I don’t know. But it’s worth checking out. What I do know is that that I have taken up residency in my head and that is not any safer of a place to be than where I “THOUGHT” I was escaping from in the first place. I won’t go into the details of the book. We’ve all been therapized to the max. If you are interested, you can look it up. It is working well for me at the moment and that is all any of us can ask for…..
So for now, the mantra is “Today on” when those intrusive thoughts start to take over. How long will that last? Again, I don’t know. Again, I have to try something because if I say to myself “It won’t work, what’s the point?” I’ll never get anywhere and I just can’t stay HERE anymore. It’s literally going to kill me.
Today On! Today on…. friends.