When the day is done, the weight is on my mind
How should I give up, how should I survive?
Leaning to the side of the busy street
Looking down, these people never notice me
Am I the only one who thinks it’s hard to breathe?
I feel it’s hard to say what’s on my mind
I feel it’s hard to say what’s not inside
You think your fight is over
It’s only so much closer
I reach my hands to the sky
Ten thousand faces here, but who am I?
Am I the only one with a reason to hide?
Searching through a maze only to find
Another wall to break, another wall to climb
It’s when I lose myself, then I realize
– Fly, Phillip Phillips, Raging Fire
If you’ve never seen Phillip Phillips perform he is a bit quirky, but always seems to be smiling – even if he isn’t. . It was interesting to me as I read about his latest album that he found it difficult to go tot he “dark side” for this one…. the album, not just this tune.
I want to be in his world if being dark looks like it does when he performs…….. I’m not asking for dark. I’m just saying. I want to be in his world because it looks so laid back and easy and fun. Even dark looks light. I don’t guess it’s ever fair to assume anyone’s life is like that. I should know that. I really should know that. But I’m always searching for anyone else’s life… someone else’s words… someone’s something instead of mine because I’m running from mine.
Seems like I should be grateful for the one I have. I graduated college. I have a teaching career. I have a house and a dog. A car and for God’s sake a real life boyfriend who is amazing and loves me – crazy and all – AND understands the crazy!
But I’ll never stop running because it’s beyond what I know. It’s not intellectual. It’s not physical. I question if it’s even emotional anymore. It just is……