You can’t leave!
You haven’t said goodbye.
Who does that?
Who just walks out?
No, seriously, who doesn’t?
I realize that I am not the only woman in this world who has had her heart broken… But that doesn’t make the pain go away. It didn’t make it go away when I was 17 it doesn’t 40 years later.
So, as I drove by his work to see if I could catch a glimpse at his car it hit me… this thought that I’m still here 40 years later with Jason instead of Brian or Troy or Aaron…. I realized that it’s not Jason doing this to me.
I have been blaming him. Trust me, he’s an ass and there is plenty that I can contribute to him in this mess of misery, but chasing his car… Chasing him? He is NOT chasing me. Half the time he just stops talking to me. With no warning he blocks my texts. No goodbye… Nothing. He pops up later or, usually, I email him pathetically.
I ask myself what it is about him that keeps me holding on?
And that’s where I sit…. Stuck in the muck.
Nothing…. Nothing at all special about him or the situation. Just have a cell phone this time to make me more miserable than before.
One day I’ll stop chasing him just like I did the others. I will give up. He will fade away and I will be ok again….
Until the next one….