… just bits of rehab

“And I’ll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don’t even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It’s gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you’re the one to blame”

— rehab, rihanna

I’m a lyric lover – not a genre lover. A song can get me a couple of ways – either the music does it or the lyrics do. I have my limits. I’m sorry. I don’t do opera. I like classical piano because I played classical piano – you can throw in some classical guitar.

Anyway, I digress.

Is there a rehab for stupid girls – no women – who never grow up and over boys (ok, men) who come into their life and mess ’em all up. Or, is it just considered “growing up”? I’m leaning towards that one. I have been through every possible reason for holding onto this guy.

I’m trying to fix him – because that’s what I do. I have 3 ex-husbands to prove it.

Ok… so maybe there is just one reason.

I hate to stoop to the level of saying that I’m bipolar and very BP (borderline) and I have issues.. but I do. *shaking my head* I do.

Truth is, I’m a 47 year old teenager who refuses to give up on an idiot, hot, jackass, who isn’t very hot and IS more than just a jackass.

Seriously, he’s really mean. And, it’s really very stupid that I even consider having him near me… but it’s what I do.

Everyday I wake up and take the risk of getting my heart broken by him…. and I know this and yet I do it …. every day… I do it. And he will do it… and he does it it… over and over…

*shaking my head*

4 thoughts on “… just bits of rehab

  1. disconcerted72

    Hi! I just happened upon your blog, but find this post incredibly interesting. First, I think there are probably more people that can relate to this than most realize (myself, included), but sometimes I think a lot of us yearn for some sort of validation. We know what we need and we want to badly for the one we’re with to meet those needs, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. And then, to top it off, a lot of times it is hard to even know what those needs are.

    Either way, I hope you are able to find some peace, where so many in life can not…

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