She chooses joy (throwback #3)

she lays curled in a ball in the corner of her bed
heart aching and trying to catch her breath
happiness surrounds her
she reaches for it – stops mid way
needing to establish which is better – happiness or pain?
most people never question which they prefer
it seems, they’ve been immersed in joy – they live joy – they choose it
she has lived in fear – she chooses against her will
she chooses against the demons in her head
she chooses joy

carefully she reaches out the rest of the way
slowly she pulls the happiness into her corner
feeling it in her hands she pauses once again
it’s familiar – where has she felt this before?
where did it go then? why did it leave?
is it worth the pain of losing it again?
pain is more familiar – more acceptable
she takes the risk – pulling it back into her body
she chooses against the demons in her head
she chooses joy

2 thoughts on “She chooses joy (throwback #3)

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